Lest you think well of me, after I blogged about "making more of an effort to play with the kids," I have done terribly with it the last few days. It's definitely not something that comes easy for me. I don't have a particularly exciting imagination, and if I'm being downright honest, I oftentimes get bored when I'm playing with the kids. I start thinking about other things that I could be doing, or more frequently, I start putting away/organizing/making sure all the pieces for a particular toy set are together.
And the other day when I woke up in a grumpy mood (could have had something to do with the fact that I got awakened by an angry Ira saying "WHAT IS ALL THAT TAPE IN THE HALLWAY FOR?!!!?!?!?!" - I'm painting it finally) I did a particularly dismal job being a good mother. I think Ira asked me more than a dozen times, "Mom, can you play with me?" But I always had something "better" to do, and I don't think I even sat down with him once to play. It just makes me upset at myself. Obviously as a mother and wife, I have a lot of responsibilities, but it is wrong to exclude sitting down and playing with the kids as one of them, even if it is difficult for me.
So I'm still working on it. It's an area of my life where I must practice surrender - which is kind of what this blog is all about. And as hard as that is some times, there is true beauty in surrendering ourselves to our vocation as mothers. What are ways that help you surrender to God through your husband/children/parents, etc...?
3 comments:
Well said, Michelle. I would agree with all of what you said. Oftentimes, I find myself equating "being in the same area as Kaylee" as "playing with her" which obviously isn't the same at all. Here's to doing a better job!
i could (and have been meaning to) write a post about this same issue. i really struggle as well. at least your aware of it and trying to do better.
One way I always return to when it comes to surrendering is sacramental grace...I find I do best after a good confession, praying intentionally for the graces needed at Mass. And asking the Lord to let me use those graces He offers Kurt and I through our marriage. But, like you, I find this difficult to do on a normal day. Great post Michelle- you're keeping it real. ;-)
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