Beautiful Days

Before all this snow hit, we were treated to a couple of BEAUTIFUL days.  We took full advantage of them by hanging out outside as much as possible.  I took the camera out and messed with some more of the settings in an attempt to better utilize our camera.  On Christmas I discovered the White Balance adjustment, so it's been my favorite thing to dink with as of late.  Enjoy!

Ira playing in his sandbox

Ruby looking very long in her swing.  PS - I absolutely adore the house in the background.  It reminds me a lot of my grandparents' house.

Our doggy, Charlie Brown.

Showing off his new doubled-in-size cage.  He's a happy boy!

Ruby eating a homemade teething biscuit.  I really like the coloring in this photo.

Ruby's adorable stocking hat that we got her in Colorado.  It has pink and purple curly-qs on the top that you can't see.

What I saw after I came in to fix dinner. Seeing it just reminded me of how wonderful and beautiful our life is.

Epiphany

The Epiphany was celebrated on January 6th at our house.  Let me tell you, those Three Wise Guys made quite the journey from the wall shelf, to the aquarium, to the bookshelf, to the tv stand, to the VCR, back to the aquarium, to the end table, and finally to the Batcave.  They flew from the Batcave to the John Deere Tractor which they took right to the stable.  Now unfortunately, I did not capture each of these locations with the camera, but I did catch the last few...

The camel was a real wise guy - he climbed onto the ROOF!

Ruby isn't sure what to make of the camel on the roof!

 The Three Wise Men's preferred mode of transportation when their camel left them for the stable roof.

I LOVE how Ira sets up the people all focused on baby Jesus.

 

May you find Wisdom and Humor this year!

What daddies do

What do daddies do with tights after diaper changes?

But of course!  We put them on heads!!

Homemade Teething Biscuits

Ruby, unlike Ira, actually seems to "teethe."  See, Ira was the kind of kid you never even knew was "teething." One day a tooth would just pop through.  Easy!  Ruby is the kind of baby that puts everything in her mouth (again, Ira didn't.)  And when she's teething, she likes to have something to bite down on.  So, being the cheapskate that I am, I decided to come up with a homemade teething biscuit recipe.  I'm pretty excited with how they turned out and Ruby LOVES them, so I thought I'd share the recipe here!

Homemade Teething Biscuits

3/4 c. + 3 Tbsp. Warm Water (b/w 100-115 degrees F)

1 t. Olive oil

2 1/2 t. Sugar

3/4 t. Salt

3/4 c. whole wheat flour

3/4 c. oat flour (I just ground up old-fashioned oats in my food processor)

3/4 c. rice cereal

3/4 c. white flour

3 1/2 t. yeast

Add ingredients in order to bread maker pan and run on the "dough" cycle.  Turn out onto floured surface and knead in extra flour if necessary.

 

Divide dough in half and roll out to desired thickness on a sheet of parchment paper (I did half of mine 1/8" thick and the other half 1/4".)

   

Transfer dough with parchment paper to a baking sheet and bake at 350 F for 20 minutes.

Remove from oven, turn oven down to 200 F, and cut the baked dough into 1" strips with a pizza cutter.

  

Cut off the corners, so that you have nice, rectangular biscuits.  Return to baking sheets & put back into the oven for 50-60 min. (until they are dried out like a crouton.)

Voila!  You have homemade teething biscuits!

Ruby LOVES her new teething biscuits, and unlike Cheerios, which she wolfs down a handful at a time, these actually take her quite awhile to eat!  They're great to give her while I get lunch ready, etc.

 

Parenting

When Ira was not quite two years old, I was getting very frustrated as a parent, constantly saying no, feeling like it didn't do any good, and pretty much feeling like I was NOT the one in control of the situation. In college, in my classroom management class, one of the management techniques that we covered was Love and Logic. A common-sense system that teaches children that their actions have consequences. We covered it fairly briefly, but it piqued my interest enough that when I saw in the Catholic Advance (our diocesan newspaper) that Love & Logic Parenting classes were going to be offered, I thought it sounded like something worth checking out.

Andy & I signed up and went to the classes, one night a week for six weeks. After the first class, we were pretty excited about what we were learning. After all six classes, we were thoroughly convinced that Love & Logic was a parenting style that fit us and our needs perfectly. It just makes so much sense - go figure - it's LOGICAL! In order to stay very true to the principles taught by Love and Logic, I will probably be quoting a lot in this overview, so that you get the most concise and accurate picture of what Love & Logic is.

As we all know, kids are experimenters and they are smart. From the time they are born, they are learning about their environment. As newborns, they learn from loving responsiveness that the world is a good place - that their needs will be met. They instinctively know that crying is the way to alert people of their needs. They learn to trust by having their needs consistently met.

As they grow and develop, they begin to have not only needs, but wants as well. To quote Love & Logic Magic for Early Childhood ,

"As infants become toddlers, they also develop a wide array of desires. As Foster Cline says, "A two-year-old is not only a bundle of needs, but now a bundle of wants. As the second year of life approaches, the role we play as parents must adapt. To maintain the parent-child bond, we must also begin setting limits on wants."

How do we do that as parents? By lovingly meeting needs, and limiting wants. Love & Logic can basically be summed up by two rules for adults:

"1) Take care of yourself by setting limits in a loving way,
2) Turn every mistake or misbehavior into a learning opportunity."

To practice the first rule, we must:

"-Replace anger and frustration with empathy.
-Replace threats and warnings with simple actions.
-Set limits you can enforce.
Give away the control you don't need."

Being empathetic to our children is a NATURAL response. When something bad happens to them, it is natural to feel bad for them. Or at least deep down it is. Sometimes however, it's not perfectly natural to convey that through our words. It's easy to get angry when a child does something wrong (like paints on the walls) However, it is crucial to use empathy as we respond to our children's behaviors and misbehaviors.

"What Empathy Accomplishes
-Preserves the adult-child relationship
-Prevents resentment and the chances of "payback" behavior
-Models, and therefore, teaches respect
-Helps a child stay focused on what can be learned from a mistake rather than on the adult's anger"

So what would be an empathetic response to painting on the walls?

"Oh honey, that's so sad. It's not okay to paint on the wall. What are you going to do to fix this?"

Being empathetic is something I really struggle with. It's not that I don't feel bad for Ira when he misbehaves, it's just that I do struggle with conveying it sometimes. It's something that I need to work on for sure. Re-reading/reviewing this book is bringing it to my attention even more. Alas, parenting is a constant process, thank GOD that we can reflect and tweak as needed!

Now, about replacing threats and warnings with simple actions. How exactly do we do that?

"Have you ever found yourself telling a child to do something that you can't really make him do? 'Sit still; Be quiet!; Keep your hands to yourself.' Most kids learn very quickly that, short of physical restraint, we cannot make them be quiet. Similarly, most learn quickly that we can't make them sit still... Each time we tell our kids to do something that we really cannot make them do, we give away some of our power and a whole lot of our credibility."

So how do we keep our credibility as parents? We use enforceable statements. Instead of saying "Put your coat on!" We say, "I'd be happy to take you outside when your coat is on." Instead of saying "Stop tipping your chair!" We say, "You're welcome to keep your chair as long as you're not tipping it." Let me tell you, at first, it was difficult coming up with enforceable statements, but after not very long, it became a part of who I am as a parent. It's just naturally the way I talk now.

Using enforceable statements helps us set limits and boundaries for Ira. It is how we pass down our knowledge and values to Ira. It is how Ira learns that in the real world, his actions have consequences. He can learn everything from it's not okay to blow bubbles in my milk to it's not okay to take toys from my sister from us using enforceable statements. This is something that especially when Ira was two, made parenting much easier! It was the first strategy I tried with him when we were taking the classes, and I couldn't believe how much more in control of things I felt. I didn't have to say no all the time - which didn't really do much good anyway - I could say something once and have it mean something! I used enforceable statements ALL. THE. TIME. when Ira was younger. I still use them with him now, just not as frequently. Again, it's certainly not something we are perfect at (who is?!)

Lastly, Love and Logic taught us to use choices to give away the control that we didn't need as parents.

"Limits are always easier to set and enforce when children feel a healthy sense of control. Control is like many other things in life - the more we give, the more we get. We never have any more love in our lives than we give to others. We never get any more respect from others than we give them. And, we never have much more money in our bank account than what we deposit in the first place. To make withdrawls, we must first make deposits. Such is the same for control. Wise parents give plenty of choices on small issues, so they can make "withdrawls" on large ones."

The guidelines for giving choices to our kids:

"1. Give 99% of choices when things are going smoothly.
2. Provide choices only on issues that are not dangerous and don't create a problem for anyone else on the planet.
3. Always offer two options, each of which makes you happy.
4. If the child does not choose in ten seconds flat, choose for them."

This is where you can really have a blast as a parent! You can make a game out of how many choices you can give your kid each day. Once you start, it's hard to stop! What am I talking about? Let's look at breakfast alone:

1) Ira, do you want to sit in this chair or that one?
2) Do you want Cheerios or Oatmeal for breakfast?
3) Do you want the pink bowl or the green one?
4) Do you want me to pour the milk now or after we pray?
5) Do you want to say "Bless us O Lord" or "God is Great?"
6) Do you want this spoon or that one?
7) Do you think you can finish expediently or should I set the timer? (yes, I have actually said that, and yes, Ira knows what expediently means.)

And those are just choices I can think of off the top of my head. Where this gets really great, is that after breakfast it's chore time "Do you want 21 or 23 minutes to do your chores?" he he he Well, usually there is quite the protest about doing chores "It's not fair! I don't want to do chores!!" (Seriously, so many days... He definitely inherited his mama's stubbornness) But that's when I can make a "withdrawl" by LOVINGLY saying "I know it's hard Ira. But I give you LOTS of choices each day. You get to choose...(list all the choices you just gave) Well, chores are one of the choices that I get to make (and I set the timer and start it.)

To briefly sum up the second rule of Love & Logic "turn every mistake or misbehavior into a learning opportunity" I will just give you the bullets from the book.

"-Always provide a strong dose of empathy before delivering a consequence
-Replace punishment with logical consequences.
-When possible, guide your child to solve his or her own problem."

You can see how Love & Logic takes SO much of the conflict/frustration/anger out of parenting. It truly does make parenting fun. I really do thoroughly enjoy being a parent most of the time. There are SO many times while talking with Ira that I think, "Wow - I really do love and enjoy being a parent!" And usually the times that I am NOT enjoying being a parent, I find that I have become lax about using Love & Logic. So Andy and I talk, and we "strategize," and sometimes I re-read through parts (or all) of the book, and I find myself thoroughly reinvigorated. And it doesn't take long before parenting is fun again.

Now, this is FAR from a complete account of Love & Logic. For that, you'd have to read the books, or (the real motivator for writing this post) take the classes. They are again being offered in the Wichita area starting January 24th. The classes cost $50 per couple (which I would highly recommend - going as a couple) or $35/individual. For more information or to register, you can click here. (Though offered at the Catholic retreat center, you definitely don't need to be Catholic to attend.) If you can't go to the classes, the books are very reasonably priced. The two we have are "Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood," and "Parenting with Love and Logic". The books are very good, easy reads. And you can learn a LOT from them. But if you can, I would HIGHLY recommend the classes. The instructors are fabulous and provide plenty of opportunities for questions and answers (which you just can't get from a book!)

Just so you know, I am receiving NOTHING for blogging about this. I purchased the books and went to the classes with my own money. It is just something that I am very VERY satisfied with and something that I wholeheartedly believe in. I think it can truly make a difference in your life as a parent - especially if you're struggling!

100th Post!!

Booyah! After 2 years of blogging, I finally hit my hundredth post! Hooray for me!!

Although I said I wasn't going to retro-post. I did want to share some pictures from Christmas. Would you believe that we didn't even get a picture of the two kiddos together - well at least not all dressed up... or one of our family. Boo to that. That's one of the reasons I wanted to started blogging again though, I am much better about taking pictures when I know I'm going to be blogging.

The week leading up to Christmas was absolutely nuts. On Monday night, Andy got sick with the flu that's been going around. Although he was quarantined to our bedroom (and I slept on the floor in the living room) Ira and I both got sick on Wednesday. I tell you what, it was the sickest I've EVER been. I was sick for about 7 hours straight and by the end of it, I really didn't know how much longer I would live if I kept getting sick. I lost 10 pounds in about 20 hours. NOT FUN!!! It wasn't until Christmas day that I felt back to normal and had any kind of appetite really. Needless to say, not a lot got done at our house the week leading up to Christmas. But that's ok, that's not what Christmas is about anyway!

We celebrated Christmas with Andy's family on Christmas Eve. The kids wore their dress up clothes so we could take pictures (thank goodness we took some then!) We had a fun time with the kids and their presents. Ira and Hayden got RC cars from Toy Story. And Bill and Marilyn got Mario Kart for their Wii, so we had lots of fun playing that.

Ira & his cousin Hayden

Ruby in her pretty dress

Another take

I'd say that's a pretty good picture for having 4 kids four and under in it!

Ruby & I

We came home and put the kids to bed, but then got them back up a few hours later to go to Midnight Mass. Ira was SO tired, but stayed awake all through Mass and Ruby was hilariously awake and alert. Going to midnight mass is kind of a tradition for our family. In fact I think we've done it every year since Ira was born. To me, it is one of the most beautiful masses of the year (it and Holy Saturday are probably my two favorites.) I always have trouble holding back the tears while we sing "O Come All Ye Faithful."

Christmas morning dawned pleasantly later for us than most mornings (8:30!) Santa brought Ira and Ruby both some fun presents. We gave Ira & Ruby the EZ-Fort that I won (thanks to many of you!) on Facebook. Ira is pretty enthralled with it, but I must say, I'm glad that we didn't pay a lot of money for it. I am underwhelmed with how the pipes stay in the connectors. And it bothers Ira too when he builds an elaborate fort/house/boat/space shuttle and he's simply sitting inside it and it collapses (without even being bumped.) Still, he does love to play with it and has probably said no less than 20 times since Christmas, "This sure is a nice
EZ-Fort! Thank you mom & dad!" Does my heart good!

Building with the EZ-Fort

Ruby thinks the poles are fun to wave around

Ira can build triangles

Ira also got a tent and tunnel from Santa that Ruby thinks is pretty fun to crawl around in.

I just LOVE this picture!

Ruby got an adorable Seahorse from my brother and his wife. (Monica, if Gemma's looking at this, you better stop here!) (She told Andy that she wanted him to cut the seahorse in half with a saw.) Ruby loves her (the seahorse that is) and sleeps with her every night now. I'm pretty fond of her myself too! I walked in Ira & Ruby's room one night to see this and couldn't resist taking a picture!
Like I said, life is so very good. Christmas was wonderful and simple and truly beautiful. I still can't motivate myself to take our decorations down. I'm just enjoying them TOO much this year! Maybe I'll have to do a post of our decorations next...

Ready, Set, Here We Go!

My oh my was that break nice! It was just what I needed to clear my head and regain some self-confidence. It was nice to be off the map for awhile, but I do (kind of) miss blogging so I think I'm ready to start back up again.

Andy is still on furlough, but you know, we really have found a blessed peace about the whole thing. It has made us realize just how very very blessed we are. What a gift for us to receive! In fact, I think we are in the midst of some of the happiest times of our lives thus far. I can't help but be thankful to God for bringing such good out of what could be a rough time. God is so good and like a loving father, provides everything we could need and more!

Ira and Ruby have grown so much since I blogged last (both physically and in their relationship with each other) Ruby is 10 months old - so sweet! I called and signed Ira up for Kindergarten Screening today. Ruby is absolutely head over heels in love with her brother. She knows how to say his name and says it first thing when she wakes up nearly every morning. She also YELLS for him when he's not in the room (yes, she's discovered the volume dial big time!) Ira is an incredibly proficient reader now - he can read just about anything you put in front of him. He especially loves reading nutrition labels. He is fascinated by them. So funny!

I feel like I am finally coming into my own as a mommy of two. I love getting on the floor and playing with the kiddos. Somehow, I've actually managed to find the time to do that lately. I have also kept my kitchen cleaned up for over a week. (MAJOR ACCOMPLISHMENT!!) I didn't make many resolutions for the new year, just to make time to pray each day.

So there you go, if you're looking for more catch-up than that, you're going to have to look in your fridge, because I don't want to spend a lot of time on retro-active posts. So here we go again!