The song goes:
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don't worry 'bout what you don't know
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Pretty much sums up my life right now. I find that the more I think I know, the more I have to learn.
I think I shall hiatus for a bit, as I'm learning and growing as a parent. This life-with-two-thing is difficult for me right now. I'm learning who Ruby is and how she is different than Ira. And I'm learning that it's okay for her to be different than Ira. Ira was an easy baby, Ruby is not. I'm trying to embrace that.
I wish I was the type who could document my thoughts/feelings as I go, but I've found that I can't. Some can, and I wish I was that type, because I think it's incredibly helpful to read back over to see how one has changed and grown. But this "public" forum is not the place for me to do that. I'm too self-conscious of a person for that. You see, I read all you other moms' blogs and I feel like I never measure up. I play the comparison game - and that is just. not. healthy. And I feel like people read my blog and judge me by what I say or do. And I know that it's just my self-doubt and insecurities, but still - it's my perception -and it's not what I need right now. It's driving me crazy, quite honestly.
So this is farewell for now. Hopefully I'll return to the blogging world someday. Until then - God be with you!
8 comments:
I will miss your posts, but I understand. I often find it difficult to strike a balance when I blog. I often want to whine on my blog- to present a real day to day picture, lest people are scandalized into thinking that I am living four children, homeschooling bliss. But I also like to use my blog as a way to refocus myself and to see all the things that I have to be grateful for. Yes, my life is difficult sometimes and I feel overwhelmed and tired and my house is messy. But in the grand scheme, I am so blessed. Abundantly. Unfairly, even. Heck, I have a house to even *be* messy. So I feel like I *can't* whine about my first world problems.
But I don't have it all figured out and the pretty pictures are only snippets of life. The majority of mommy/ crafty/ foodie blogs are the same. Sure, I am sure that there is some woman, somewhere that has life perfected and things are exactly as is represented on her blog. Maybe there are two or three ;) But most of us are just trying to muddle through :)
Anyways, return when it is good for you. I'll keep your family in my prayers- I had an easy first one, a challenging second one (and when I thought it couldn't get tougher- an even more challenging third one ;) so I feel for you. Take care!
I will really miss your blog Michelle! I can tell you are an awesome parent and have been inspired by you many times when reading this blog.
can't wait to have you back again! I really enjoy reading your blog!
I'll be praying for you, Michelle! I can say from personal experience there are five or more "failures" for every cute experience I post to my blog. Frankly, even with Second Son being what I consider a relatively easy baby, I feel like I'm just barely holding on -- but you won't see that in my blog. Even my "oh-my-goodness-can-you-believe-what-we're-dealing-with-here" posts are on the light side.
It's so good you recognize what's best for you and your family. Blogging is nothing compared to them!
Many blessings Michelle! Kudos to you for discerning what will work best for you and your family. Though, I too will miss your posts.
WOAH MICHELLE!
I'll miss reading your posts.
And just FYI, it's to the contrary: I read what you do with Ira and think "that's genius .... I'll try that someday" ... it's creat inspiration.
Cheers, K.
Michelle, I totally understand, I just came back from a blogging break, and I am so glad I took some time away. It was during a very stressful time, we were trying to sell our house and had already moved, so we were making 2 house payments....anyway...stress city! I'm sad now that I have found your blog, I miss seeing you on Facebook, but am glad to find your blog again!! I will keep you in my prayers and CONGRATS on your beautiful little baby girl, I love her name!! I hope you get lots of rest and hope to see you back soon!!!
While I understand you taking a break, I miss your posts. I was a frequent reader, never commenter, but wanted to say hi and hope youre doing well. Feeling inadequate is never good, but I think all of us who have a glimpse into your life can say we think you're a great wife and momma!
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