Ruby's Birth Story the final installment!

My pregnancy with Ruby was VERY normal. No spotting, LOTS of throwing up. I will be honest with you, I smiled each time after I threw up because I knew that that meant my hormone levels were where they should be. We had weekly sonos starting around 30 weeks just to make sure that everything was as it should be (in part b/c of Ira's pre-term birth, but also because of the miscarriages.)

After my little sis gave birth naturally in November, we borrowed their copy of "Husband Coached Childbirth" by Susan McCutcheon. It taught the Bradley Method of Childbirth. I absolutely devoured the book and could NOT stop talking about it with Andy. It took him a little longer to read it (but given that I read it in one day, that's understandable! :-P) but once he finished it he too was astounded and convinced that it was an EXCELLENT method for childbirth. We talked about natural birth ALL THE TIME with each other. We practiced the exercises fairly regularly and were determined to wait for baby to come on his/her own. Dr. Ferris was TOTALLY on board (he's who recommended the book to my sis in the first place.)

On Ash Wednesday, a terrible injustice was done when the OB board at the local hospitals finally got their way with Dr. Ferris. Being that he was "just" a Family Practitioner. and Being that he had a huge practice (that was continually growing) and Being that the economy was headed where it was... greed got the better of many of the local OBs and they complained to the hospital board. Dr. Ferris was told that Family Practitioners were all well and good for delivering babies in rural areas, but that he was not welcome to deliver babies at the Wichita hospitals anymore. Let me tell you, there is a LOT of corruption at our hospitals and I am ASHAMED even more that Via Christi, a CATHOLIC hospital, did NOTHING to come to Dr. Ferris' aid. The story is longer and deeper than that, but you get the gist of it. The tribunal against him was a SHAM. When I talked to Dr. Ferris about it, he humbly said, "I am just so thankful that I got to deliver babies for as long as I did. I guess this is my Lenten cross to bear." Wow.

Dr. Montoya was who was delivering Dr. Ferris' babies, and we were assured that she was just as focused on Natural Childbirth as Dr. Ferris was, so we were okay with the late change in the ballgame.

Finally- the long anticipated birth story of Ruby can begin!

At 2:40 am on March 5th, I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. Before I could sit up, a gush of warm fluid came out. Not sure if I had just wet the bed or if my water had broken, I sat up in bed and felt another gush. My water had broken!!! I woke Andy and then called my parents. My dad answered the phone. "Dad? (he sounded like my brother when he answered, so I wasn't sure) I think my water just broke... wait, no, I KNOW my water just broke. I'm in LABOR!!!" We made plans for them to come out and pick Ira up, so that we could finish packing. Ira woke up shortly after we turned our light on. (Even though he was in his own room, I guess the bustle woke him.) He was full of questions, so I explained to him that my water had broken just like in "Angel in the Waters" and that we were going to have our baby. He was excited and alert and talked a lot while I straightened my hair and finished packing. I wasn't too concerned about getting to the hospital immediately, my contractions were strong, but not too strong. Shortly before my parents arrived, I had a little bit of bloody show. I knew that that was normal, but it scared me just enough to want to get to the hospital to make sure that everything was alright with baby. We took a quick picture when my parents arrived and headed to the hospital. The whole drive there, Andy and I talked and talked about natural childbirth. About how we wanted labor and delivery to go. (Seriously, it was like a pep talk before a big game!)

The contractions had slowed down a LOT by the time we got to the hospital, which is normal because of the hormones you release when you're nervous/excited. We got to the hospital and they checked me and I was dilated to 2. The doctor that checked me there said I had 12 hours from when my water broke to have the baby. I fudged and told him my water broke around 3 (I wanted to give myself every minute I could get legitimately) We also told him, we actually have more like 24 hours from the time my water breaks to give birth. It made him uncomfortable, but he didn't deny it. We were told that Dr. Montoya was actually off that day, and that Dr. Bledsoe was covering for her. We were hopeful that she would be supportive, but knew that if she wasn't that we would just have to be our own advocates. We got to our Labor and Delivery room shortly before shift change. The nurse that did all the admitting stuff wasn't very talkative. They hooked me up for monitoring, and I paced the 4 foot swath that I could move while hooked up so that I could keep moving and hopefully help labor pick back up. When the shift changed, our new nurse, Dana, came in. She BLEW US OUT OF THE WATER when she said, "So you're going to do this naturally! Awesome, I'm here to help you make that happen!" (She also told us that she's studying to become a nurse midwife.) We were psyched!!

She warned us that we wouldn't necessarily have an ally in Dr. Bledsoe, and that she (Dana) would advocate for us as much as she could, but that it would fall to us to absolutely refuse any of her suggestions that we didn't like. We also met Dr. Fagot (pronounced fuh-go), a resident who didn't sound like she was going to be much help, she was pushing pitocin already. She checked me and said I was maybe at 2.5. Dana got permission to take me off the monitors and 'a walking we went throughout the LDR floor. We were interrupted a short while later when Dr. Bledsoe showed up and wanted to check me. (This was around 9 am.) Dr. Bledsoe sat down on the bed and proceeded to tell me the risks of water breaking and labor not progressing (which we were certainly aware of - they just weren't applicable yet.) She was VERY pushy and wanted to start pitocin, which we said we didn't want to do yet. We asked for some time, and she so generously gave me 15 minutes - yeah like I was going to progress at ALL in that timeframe! She was all chatty-cathy, but we wanted to get rid of her as quickly as we could so that we could start WALKING again!!

We took off vigorously walking and strategized about how we were going to achieve the natural childbirth we both so desperately wanted. Each time we walked past the nurse's station, we could see Dr. Bledsoe waiting. After about 10 minutes, she got paged (Thank you God!) and left, leaving her minion, Dr. Fagot, to do her bidding. After Dr. Bledsoe left, Dana started in on Dr. Fagot. When we walked past, we could hear her explaining our rights as patients to her and trying to express our wishes. When we came around the next time, Dr. Fagot said, "Alright, let's head in and check you." To which my knight in shining armor flatly replied, "No, you can check her again at 10 o'clock." With a purple face, and scarcely able to speak, she replied, "ok, 10 o'clock."

The contractions were definitely strengthening as we walked and talked. Before long, it felt better to walk a little slower and just listen. I was ready for a break by 10, and when she checked me, I think I was dilated to 3. They wanted me to stay hooked up to the monitors for half an hour just to make sure everything was alright, and as I said, I was ready for a break from walking, so we were okay with that. Sometime during that time, the hospital laborist, Dr. Bryant, came in to talk to us more about the pitocin. She had a much more friendly approach than Dr. Bledsoe, and led with "why don't you explain what you want to do." We told her we wanted more time, but were okay with starting pitocin if the contractions hadn't begun in earnest by 11 am. From 10-11, the contractions were more intense, and we started using the relaxation techniques from the Bradley Method. Andy quietly coached each contraction, but at that point I wasn't relying on him. I could still easily handle them myself. I spent time on the birthing ball (which was actually shaped like a peanut and was much more stable than a birthing ball - it felt very good to be on it.) As 11 o'clock approached, the contractions eased up and spaced out. They let Dana write the orders for the pitocin, and she started it at like 1 (unit/hour or something like that.) They upped the pitocin at 11:30 to 2 units. The contractions started coming regularly, but weren't unmanageable. Dana went to lunch around noon, and I told Andy he should get something to eat too while I could still manage the contractions on my own. Since the contractions eased up when I laid down, I stayed in bed while he went to get lunch. After he finished his lunch, I got back out of bed and onto the birthing ball, since it seemed to make the contractions more intense. They upped the pitocin at 12:30 to 3 units. When the doctor (I can't remember which one it was, maybe Dr. Bryant?) checked me at 1, I was dilated to 5 and the contractions were becoming a lot more intense. Dana said she was going to bring the delivery cart in, which astounded me, I didn't think there was anyway I'd be delivering soon. She said she would bet I'd deliver within a few hours.

I stayed on the ball as long as it felt good as Andy quietly coached contractions. At some point, the ball stopped feeling good so I stood for a few contractions. That was pretty uncomfortable too, so I reluctantly moved to the bed (I didn't want the contractions to slow down, but Dana assured me they wouldn't at this point.) I laid on my left side and for quite a few contractions, that worked really well. After awhile, I wanted to roll over to my right side because the left side just wasn't cutting it anymore. Dana helped Andy adjust the pillows and Andy coached me through a few more contractions. Laying down was becoming more and more uncomfortable, and I was kind of unsure of what position to try next. Everything seemed uncomfortable. Dana suggested we raise the head of the bed up to 90 degrees and had me bend my knees and let them rest on pillows beside me. Boy did things become uncomfortable at that point!! Dana said she was going to check me because she thought things were moving along quickly, and sure enough, I was dilated to 7. She paged Dr. Bledsoe and began hurriedly prepping the delivery cart. I became very restless at this point and was having trouble focusing during my contractions. Andy helped me pull my hair back and I started saying that I didn't think I could do it anymore. To which he responded, "oh Michelle you are SO CLOSE!" Dana started helping coach contractions too. I was in transition!

I will here self-incriminate because I think it's hilarious, and don't really care...

A short while later, I yelled (more than once) "I need to POOOOOOOOP!!!!!" And I'll tell you why I said it. In my head, I figured it was the urge to push, but in case I pooped while pushing, I wanted everyone in the room to know that I indeed knew I needed to poop but could not get up and go to the bathroom to relieve myself.

Dana paged Dr. Bledsoe two more times, but then decided there was no way she was going to make it for the birth. Then the room got full of people. Dr. Fagot was back. I wanted to stick my tongue out at her and say "I told you so!" Dr. Bryant came in, as well as some guy doctor whose name I missed and some dude with glasses that just stood in the corner silent. They checked me and I was complete and baby's head had finally dropped all the way. I couldn't help but grunt, the contractions were SO STRONG and I could feel the baby crowning. To say that I pushed would be an overstatement. My body did most of the work and I could EASILY feel where to push/grunt. I was still sat up nearly straight on the bed and they didn't even have time to take the bottom part off because our little girl was born 3 pushes later at 3:51 pm. It was the hardest, most edifying, empowering, miraculous moment in my life. They immediately put her on my chest and Dana helped me get her to latch on and nurse. The placenta came shortly later pretty much on it's own. Ruby continued to nurse. Dr. Fagot supervised by Dr. Bryant began the stitches to repair my borderline 2nd degree tear. (Ruby was born with her hands up by her face.) I was not impressed with Dr. Fagot's anesthesia abilities as I felt several of the last stitches go in. Quite honestly it hurt and bothered me more than the whole birth experience did (not that labor and deliver weren't incredible painful and intense, because they WERE, but the stitches were just a totally different, sharper kind of pain.) Dana offered me something to drink, and I requested orange juice. It had never tasted SO GOOD! Ruby continued to nurse and nursed for a full hour before she was finally done.

We called my parents at that point and mom answered the phone. We asked her to put Ira on, but he didn't want to talk. Mom explained that he'd had a huge meltdown after getting up from quiet time (just prior to us calling) when she offered him a snack. He picked out a granola bar (i think?) and a Reese's peanut butter cup. She simply asked him if he'd given up candy for lent (just to double check) and he said yes and burst into tears. I assured her that he had indeed NOT given up candy for lent, which she relayed to him, but he was still crying, so she said she'd have him call us back in just a little bit. I'm sure it KILLED her to know that we'd had our baby but not to know what it was, etc. It gets really funny here, because she tried calling Andy's cell phone back and for some reason it went to voicemail. About 15 minutes later, I couldn't believe that they hadn't called back, so I called them back. We finally got to tell Ira that he had a baby sister. He didn't seem very surprised (he'd said it was a girl all along.) They headed up to the hospital shortly after we got off the phone.

When they arrived, Dana had just taken Ruby to the other side of the room to get her weight/measurements. Ira got to see all of that and watch as Dana did her footprints and gave her her first bath. His eyes were filled with wonder as he took it all in. (And made us all laugh with his questions/comments.) He kept asking Dana to please "give her back to my mommy." When it got close to time to bring her back over to me, Ira asked if he could carry her. We all chuckled, and Dana sweetly let Ira "carry" Ruby (with her help) over to me. It was such a beautiful moment!!

Awhile later, Dana helped me to the bathroom. Sometime prior to that, she had cleaned me up, because when I went to change gowns, I noticed that all the sticky bloodiness from Ruby laying on my chest was gone. (It's still a mystery when exactly she did that, but that just shows you what an excellent nurse she was. Totally helpful, but NEVER intrusive, she fit in perfectly to our birthing plans/wishes.) I walked back to the bed and reveled in watching my Ira become a big brother, a role he slipped into with grace and patience and kindness much beyond his four little years. When we were ready to go to the recovery room. Dana asked him to lead the train and open doors, which he PROUDLY did!

We were in the hospital overnight and were released the next evening.

I look back at the whole experience fondly misty-eyed. It was surreal and beautiful and miraculous and just absolutely wonderful. I feel so empowered by it. It helped redeem Ira's birth experience and drew Andy and I even closer to each other. He was such an amazing coach and support. I don't know how I could've done it without him.

I truly hope that I get to experience birth again sometime in the future. I'll leave that in the hands of our loving, patient, and ever-kind Father in Heaven!