I am Perfect...

Ha!  Bet that title caught you by surprise!  Or maybe you just thought it was par for the course if you read my Facebook status when my sister hacked it... Whatever the case - I can state without a doubt that I am perfect in one area of my life... being IMPERFECT.

For instance, yesterday: we were out of town and driving to Mass.  It was foggy and there was snow on the ground and worst of all, we were cutting it close to get to Mass on time.  We found the church with relatively little trouble, but finding a parking place was a problem.  We missed the first parking lot - a miscommunication of sorts.  We figured we'd just drive around the block, but we found a parking lot, so we started pulling into it only to realize it was private parking only.  We had to back out, which was difficult to do as there was another car following us.  We turned into another parking lot only to find it overcrowded with cars double and triple parked.  You could, however, drive through that parking lot into the parking lot we'd missed the first time.  As we got within 20 feet of the driveway to that lot though, another car was coming up the driveway and couldn't get through unless us and the 2 cars behind us backed out.  Nightmare! 

The whole time I was being WAY less than patient (cursing in my head, crumbling up our directions and throwing them on the floor, huffing, etc.)  I was disgusted with myself, but also didn't do much to change my course.  Andy (the kind, patient one) volunteered to drop the kids and I off at the door.  Instead of being grateful, I huffed about having to get both kiddos out and coated as well as the diaper bag.  We rushed into Mass as the Opening Hymn was ending.  Then, rather than getting myself in the mindset for Mass, I was fretting (and stewing) about where the heck Andy was.  He finally arrived during the beginning of the second reading (which I later found out was because he had to park a good 3 blocks away and walk.)  Ruby was squirmy and blowing raspberries/making elephant noises at the people behind us.  Ira, thank heavens, was pretty tame. 

Obviously, I was more than distracted throughout the first part of Mass.  (Also rolling around in my head was the job offer that Andy got from his company on Friday - which truly is a whole other blog post in itself, but the Reader's Digest version is that he got offered a job in a lower position with a 40% pay-cut because they just aren't getting any projects for him to run.)  Then the priest reads this gospel passage from Matthew 6:24-34:

"... Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, 

what you will eat or drink

or about your body, what you will wear.

Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Look at the birds in the sky;

they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns,

yet your heavenly Father feeds them.

Are not you more important than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

Why are you anxious about clothes?

Learn from the way the wildflowers grow. 

They do not work or spin.

But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor

was clothed like one of them.

If God so clothes the grass of the field,

which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow,

will he not much more provide for you, O you of little faith?

So do not worry and say, 'What are we to eat?'

or 'What are we to drink?' or 'What are we to wear?'

All these things the pagans seek.

Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,

and all these things will be given to you besides.

Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself.

Sufficient for a day is its own evil."

Wow, God, I did hear that message loud and clear.  And I was in tears at the overwhelming love of a God who cares so very much for his perfectly-imperfect children.  And I was struck by the fact that despite all of my numerous imperfections, God still loves and cares for me as though I've never sinned.  And I was humbled to be told that worrying, when it comes right down to it, is just not trusting in God.  Because you see, I worry a lot, and I've never really looked at it as not trusting in the goodness of God.

And as much as I wish I could say that it changed my whole life and I stopped sinning - I haven't.  Because I am perfectly imperfect, struggling each day to be "perfect" as our "heavenly Father is perfect."  And I am not even close to there yet.  However, God doesn't want us to throw in the towel, throw up our hands, and say, "what do you expect, I'm HUMAN?!"  He wants us to strive each day to be more like Him.  To quote an article on the matter: 

"By telling us to 'be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect,' our Lord is saying that we have an opportunity to become fully human by imitating the loving qualities of God.  Such a conversion has many implications.  It cannot be an individual affair with God.  If we are to emulate the type of selfless love that radiates from God, the true hallmark of our conversion will be our ability to conduct ourselves in ways that allow our words and deeds to show others the love of God."

So I'll keep on keeping on - and I'll invite you to too.