Picture Post

Okay so it's been a long time since I put pictures up on my blog. So I thought I'd keep the commentary to a minimum and just post pictures from the last month or so...

This was what the bar looked like when we moved in.

Ira says "There's no room in this bar even for me!

There were cabinets above the bar which really closed the kitchen/dining room area off.

We took the cabinets down and couldn't decide about the soffit... eventually we decided it had to go too.

This is the new bar with new cabinets, a dishwasher (which the kitchen didn't have before), new counter tops, and new bar stools.
The cabinets and the soffit are both gone now. We'll eventually replace them with 3 pendant lights to light the bar a little better.

This is what the countertop looks like except for the picture above shows a truer color of it. It is reminiscent of peacocks... And no, it's not granite - it's "High Definition Laminate" by Wilsonart.

While Andy was busy working on the kitchen - I busied my self recovering these dastardly chairs. I'm just not a real fan of country blue...
New black vinyl covering. It's MUCH easier to wipe spilt milk off of!
Detail of the piping along the bottom of the chair pad...
Ira discovers bubbles... not really how to blow them... just bubbles so far...
"Ah cose" ("So close") is what Ira would have said about 6 months ago.
YAY! BUBBLES!!!!!!!
At the zoo with cousin Gemma.
Looking for penguins. It's hilarious to watch him! He doesn't realize that they're there until they are smack in front of him - it's humorous to say the least.
My beautiful baby plants. I was afraid that the little tiny peat pellets were too small for the root systems though, so I decided to give them a transitional home in bigger plastic cups.
The seedlings' new homes - tiered to keep the little plants closer to the light
The eventual home of the our baby plants. Also where we spent most of last weekend .

Well, did you get your fill of pictures? I hope so - cuz that's all I've got for now! Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Down and out...

Yep - that's how I've felt lately - maybe it's the grey, cold weather - but I've just been sad lately. It mostly stems from our miscarriages I know, and I can't believe how sad I can still be over them. I am trying so hard to trust that God has a plan for all of this - but that doesn't make it any less heart-wrenching to go through. I know we are almost to the point of being ready to try again - but it scares me to death to think of being pregnant. And I can't help but worry that 6-7 weeks from whenever we get pregnant, we'll be disappointed and so utterly devastated again. So tragedy could strike when? My birthday? Memorial weekend? Our 4th anniversary? Over vacation? The 4th of July? That's just how I want to remember those events. It's just so hard to trust that there's even a chance that things can go right. And then I get to thinking of all my past sins, and I wonder why God would ever want to bless me with another healthy pregnancy. I am trying so hard to move on, but to what? Everyone else's lives seem to be progressing - people are getting engaged, getting married, having babies, having 2nd babies, etc... and where are we going? I've always wanted a big family - yet here we are - married almost 4 years with just one precious kiddo here on earth. I feel like we're in "the waiting place" that Dr. Seuss describes in "Oh The Places You'll Go." Just waiting... Don't get me wrong, I love my life. I love my husband and my son. I love where we live. I love the things that we do. I feel like we're in a pretty good place in our lives right now. But I am SO READY for more!! And not more trials (if you're reading this God) But more hope - more happiness - more fulfillment - more KIDS!! I feel like I can't truly "get over" our miscarriages until I'm holding another baby in my arms. And I know we could possibly adopt - but it makes me so sad to think about giving up pregnancy and childbirth and nursing. I feel like I'm having to give up all the things I've ever dreamed about. It is depressing to the core to think about giving up my dreams. (As I sit here editing this, I can even hear God saying - "But what about MY dreams for you." - But oh heavenly Father - sometimes it is so hard to surrender myself to You and let go of that control. - Hence the title of my blog.)

Ugh... I'm sorry to write such a depressing post - I've never blogged about our miscarriages before - but I can't not talk about it anymore or I feel like it will eat me alive - it is a huge part of who I am and how I look at things now. Thanks for letting me vent to you - and if nobody reads this - well, it feels good to get it out anyway.

Long time, I know...

Again, it's been a long time since I updated. It's just that we've been so "unbusy" here. Yes, you read that right. We've tried to slow down lately, which seems to entail not being on the internet as much or something like that. So anyway, here's a quick recap of the weekend:
Friday:
Ira and I played outside in his "tridge" (that's exactly how he pronounces it - trench) which is really what I like to call our brook. It's actually not a brook because it never has water in it except when it rains cats and dogs, but in my imagination it would be a perfect brook. If Andy were telling you what it is, he'd say it was a low ditch in the back of our yard. Now don't you think brook sounds so much more magical.
My sis and bro-in-law came over for dinner and fun. We spent the gorgeous evening outside being completely smoked to death by our fire pit. At one point, Mandy finally put on a gas mask that was my uncle's when he was in the army b/c the smoke was making her tear up so bad. We roasted...err smoked some marshmallows. Why did it smoke so much? I don't know? Andy thinks that maybe the wood wasn't all the way cured out. Whatever that means.

Saturday:
Andy and My's 8th Dating Anniversary
We were getting ready to hang the ceiling fans in our kitchen and bedroom when Andy's mom and dad called to see if we wanted to come over b/c Andy's bro and girlfriend and their 2 kiddos were out. Andy finally got to meet their newest little, Marley, who was born on Jan. 8th. Ira and Hayden had a blast playing and riding on the tractor spraying the field with Bill. Saturday night we went into town to celebrate our anniversary. While we were waiting at Felipe's the tornado sirens went off. I think someone jumped the gun on that one. Ira must have heard me say that b/c on Sunday he asked "Who pulled the gun and made the tornado siren go on?" He he he

Sunday:
I awoke Sunday and told Andy it was time to get up so we could get ready for church. He looked at his clock and said, no way, it's still 8:15. I said, nuh uh, it's 9:15 (I can't believe I'm admitting how late we sleep! We're SOOO LAZY!) We'll, Andy swore that he'd set his clock ahead, and I swore I'd set mine ahead, so I made him get up and go look in the kitchen, where I knew the clocks were right. Sure enough, it was only 8:15. Apparently my clock is semi-atomic, so it set itself forward after I'd already set it forward. It was AWESOME! I felt like I gained an hour of sleep not lost one! What a nice mistake!
After Mass, we went to Andy's cousin's 30th birthday party. It was a lot of fun and Ira got to play with all of his cousins (of which there are a ton...like 30... and counting...) After the party, we came home and Ira took his nap while Andy rototilled up a spot for a garden 23x23. I sat inside and made a blue-print for where each plant will go. The plan is as such: Tomatoes, Romas, Green Peppers, Jalapeno Peppers, Cantaloupe, Watermelon, Purple Beans, Green Beans, Okra, Sugar Snap Peas, Zuchinni, Green Onions, Leaf Lettuce, Spicy Lettuce Mix, Spinach, Basil, Parsley, Chives, & Cilantro. I think that's all of them. This is our first year to grow things from seed, so we'll see how that goes. I'm pretty excited. Whenever I think about gardening it always reminds me of the song "All Good Gifts" from Godspell. I know, I'm a hippie...

Today, I have the slightest feeling that Ira might be getting a cold. He's been wiping his nose a lot and he just seems a little out of sorts... We'll see I guess. Oh, and except for naps and bedtime (which he seems to be wetting less and less at) he's potty trained. I need an easy button, because that was surprisingly easy!

Well, that's about all I kin think of to bore you with. Next time I'll include some pics of our garden beginnings...

Happy almost Spring!